Kerry Morrison at the February 9, 2015 meeting of the Central Hollywood Coalition’s Board of Directors, in the midst of a characteristically inarticulate expression of disgust with government bureaucracy and the general unfairness of it all.Kerry Morrison, speaking at the February 9, 2016 meeting of the Central Hollywood Coalition’s Board of Directors, filled the boss-guys and boss-gals in on the California Franchise Tax Board’s like, TOTALLY UNFAIR, ongoing audit of the tax-exempt status of the CHC. The upshot seems to be that some guy a while ago forgot to pay some fee, and things escalated through no fault of Kerry’s, to the point where, because bureaucrats are dumb and mail letters to the wrong place, the FTB is auditing the CHC but a lot of records are missing because 12 years ago is a long time and how can they expect that we would still have them?!? There’s also a looming problem, unmentioned here by Kerry, in that the CHC, like all BID management companies, signed a pledge to the City of Los Angeles that they would “…notify the awarding authority [the Los Angeles City Clerk] within 30 calendar days after receiving notification that any governmental agency has initiated an investigation which may result in a finding that the contractor did not comply with any federal, state, or local law in the performance of the contract…” Kerry didn’t mention anything about this clause, and we don’t (yet) know whether the CHC is complying with it. Stay tuned for info on that.
Jittery little psychopath and Hollywood McDonald’s queen Carol Massie who, in direct contradiction to high McDonald’s corporate-level mucky-mucks, thinks her business is not all about the bucks. Despite its appearance this is not a surveillance picture. It’s just a picture with that surveillance aesthetic!Remember back in March 2015 when we reported on the weirdly racist meanderings of Hollywood Chamber of Commerce flunky Marty Shelton as filtered through the unrepressed id of jittery little psychopath and Hollywood McDonald’s queen Carol Massie, who, in a surprising-even-for-her outburst at a meeting of the Sunset-Vine BID Board blamed Hollywood nightclub owners for ruining everything because they run “…these businesses who don’t really care about anything except that they make a profit.”??
At that time, we responded, quite reasonably even if we do say so ourselves, to the effect that:
Carol, here’s a newsflash: your company destroys rainforests, destroys the health of the world’s people, exploits its employees, destroys everything, because it doesn’t “really care about anything except that [it] make[s] a profit.” That’s what McDonald’s does.
Evidently some Disney theme park somewhere east of San Bernardino actually has a through-the-looking-glass replica of a Hollywood Boulevard that might have been real right here in the most real neighborhood in the most real city in the world. Except, look! Unlike the real Hollywood Boulevard this fake one has benches, because they don’t have a BID destroying every possible thing that might give aid and comfort to anyone.Amongst the files that our faithful correspondent recently open-sesame-ed out in literal troves from the Ali-Baba-esque locality on Ramirez Street known to the world as the City Archives and Record Center was a most interesting, most singular fax to Councilwoman Jackie Goldberg from a serial candidate for every random political office in California and generally all-round attention-seeking loony named Steve Mozena, self-styled “Chair of HOLLYWOODLAND.” On the handwritten fax cover sheet1 Steve declaims: I’m Martin Sheen and I “like the idea of ‘Hollywoodland.'”Jackie, I’m looking for support for my project. Martin Sheen and Slyvester [sic] Stallone like the idea of “Hollywoodland” Let’s see if we can work together and make this a reality. Steve
Adam Schiff… and you thought we were being fricking hyperbolic about the make-up. Guess not, eh?Everybody in the whole world is doing pope stories. We’re listening to KNX on the way to work yesterday morning and they got traffic on the 5’s and the freaking pope on the 3’s, 7’s, and 9’s. It occurs to us that we’re good and goddamned sick of marching to the beat of a different drummer.1 Thus we resolved to fricking fit in for once and do a pope post. We’re following the herd and we bleating like it! But what to write about the pope, then? Oh, yes! Adam Schiff, make-up wearing congressional fellow from Hollywood, is ready at hand with a subject! Continue reading Red-Cheeked, Tin-Eared, Wooden-Headed Hollywood Congressguy Adam Schiff Stereotypically Calls Loudly for Neighbor to Remove Proverbial Mote While Ignoring Proverbial Beam→
Cowgirl Kerry Morrison explains everything about everything to everyone and everybody.People often ask us what the hardest thing about writing this blog is. It’s not pestering unwilling politicos for documents the publication of which will, if such a thing were possible, shame them before the world. It’s not attending and filming the public meetings of the BIDs and watching angry white people spitting and hissing at the world they think has done them so very wrong. It’s not thinking of nasty things to say about them. Lord, it’s not even resisting the temptation to say all the very, very nasty things we think of when confronted with them. A picture of some ostensibly homeless people’s tents on Homewood Avenue between Ivar and Vine Street, used by Kerry Morrison to illustrate a recent blog post on homelessness in Hollywood.
No, none of these. Right at this very moment, the hardest thing about writing this blog is stopping ourselves, all three of us, from running out onto the street, grabbing random people by the collar, and forcing them to read Kerry Morrison’s latest blog post on Hollywood homeless people, to subsequently acknowledge just how completely freaking batshit insane it is, and finally to join us in drinking ourselves rapidly into a stupor sufficiently deep to erase the last traces of this febrile outpouring of dangerous delusions from our long-suffering minds. We’re not doing any of that because we’re writing this essay instead, but we make neither promises nor representations concerning what we might do when we’re done with it.
Anyway, as usual, we’re going to mock this nonsense one piece at a time, with Kerry’s words in blue. The links are Kerry’s. Full fathom five thy father lies; Of his bones are coral made; Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade, But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange. Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell: Ding-dong. Hark! now I hear them — Ding-dong, bell.As we inch toward Labor Day, I realize that this summer will be characterized by the one issue that has dominated my attention: the increased evidence of homelessness in our city. Every day has involved phone calls with stakeholders, ad-hoc community meetings, or city and coalition task forces evaluating the factors at work and the solutions in play. So many people have suggested that we are in the midst of a new trend – a sea change of sorts – because what we are seeing does not resemble the face of homelessness five or ten years ago.
Although the Sunset-Vine BID seems to feel they’ve apprehended1 the Vine Street Tree Vandal, our correspondent noted the pictured damage this morning. This is the first time, to our knowledge, that the vandalistic attacks have targeted not only trees but their paraphernalia as well.Our faithful correspondent, walking north on Vine Street early this morning, noticed that a jacaranda tree, individually one of the most favored targets of the BID bête noire locally known as the Vine Street tree vandal, was not only newly revandalized but that its wooden support apparatus2 was also, for the first time in our experience, destroyed as well. Is it a coincidence that the vandalized tree is right in front of jittery little psychopath Carol Massie’s McDonald’s at the corner of DeLongpre and Vine? Continue reading Supposedly Neutralized Vine Street Tree Vandal Rage, Overkill Increases; New Attack Destroys More than Trees!→
As you can see from the images to your right, the Vine Street Tree Vandal is still at large and hard at his dastardly work as of today, May 19, 2015. One of these three-in-a-row vandalized trees on the west side of Vine Street between DeLongpre and Sunset was hit just last week. What we have here is more than just a crime spree, more than just a peasant revolt against the ham-fisted idiocy of the Andrews International Security BID Patrol, it is in fact an indictment of the BID Patrol’s very competence. The big brass at Andrews will blether on about their self-proclaimed excellence in privatized facism, but when it comes to an actual ongoing crime spree they’re quite evidently helpless. Continue reading Vine Street Tree Vandal Turns the Hat-Trick on May 19!→
Newly vandalized jacaranda tree on Vine Street, May 13, 2015We’ve been writing about the continuing story of the Vine Street tree vandal since October of last year. The Sunset-Vine BID has been announcing the imminent arrest of the criminal for at least that long. In fact, we could have sworn that they mentioned it again at last month’s Joint Security Committee meeting although we’ll be damned if we can find it in there now. We’ve also noted that this criminal does in fact seem to be targeting the BID’s trees, although as Kurt Cobain might have said but didn’t, just because you have enemies doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid. Proof that the vandalism as pictured above was newly committed: as-yet unwilted tree fronds at the base of the tree. Is the baseball cap evidence of the workings of a depraved criminal mind? Obviously. Who else but depraved criminals root for American League teams?As you can see to your left, though, the tree vandal is still at large and working despite the dogged efforts of Keystone Kop-wannabes Andrews International Security, the Hollywood Neighborhood Prosecutor, the LAPD, and everyone else. Perhaps there’s more than one tree vandal, and though they arrest particular instances, new vandals rise up hydra-like after the manner of peasant rebellion leaders everywhere. Continue reading Vine Street Tree Vandal Still At Large Despite Best Efforts of HPOA, LAPD, FBI, NSA, Other TLAs!!!→
Why does jittery little psychopath Carol Massie hate America and the residents of Hollywood so much? Only God and her pyschoanalyst know for sure…First a little background. Council District 14 representative José Huizar recently proposed a law to legalize street vending in Los Angeles. Predictably, the BIDs are horrified by the thought that this might pass.
In fact, they’re so horrified that the icky-poo Central City Association hired thuggish PR flacks Rodriguez Strategies to help defeat it. We’ll be writing much more on this presently, but for now you just need to know that one of the subterfuges that the BIDs and Rodriguez Strategies are proposing is to get the law modified to allow neighborhoods to opt in rather than the city-wide legalization that’s now on the table. Rodriguez Strategies PR flackie Jessica Borek at the March 17, 2015 meeting of the SVBID board of directors, calmy contemplating methods to utterly destroy the living culture of Los Angeles and plow salt into the fields where it once grew
This is bad enough, of course, since everyone knows that opt-in regulations kill participation, but even this mild, skewed-in-her-favor form of democracy is too much for jittery little psychopath and big kahunette of the Sunset-Vine BID, Carol Massie. She doesn’t believe in the holy principle of one-person-one-vote. WHAT IF PEOPLE VOTE THE WRONG WAY??!? After hearing a couple of flacks from Rodriguez explain the strategy at the March 17, 2015 meeting of the SVBID board of directors, Carol Massie ranted thusly:
Um…you know, Kerry, uh, one of the things that I think we should consider…and this was something that you mentioned, Marie, was the idea of having a certain percentage of the residents and the businesses. The problem with the residents is that they don’t deal with the things that the businesses do, so they might say “WHOAH! A bunch of great, cheap food and cheap CDs, and they could vote it in, and then all the businesses are outvoted, because there’s a lot fewer businesses than there are residents, and so having the residents in on the opt-ins [unintelligible] Continue reading Why Does Hollywood McDonald’s Queen Carol Massie Hate America, Mom, Apple Pie, Bacon Dogs, and the Residents of Hollywood?→
Jittery little psychopath Carol Massie: “These kind of people” (Hollywood nightclub patrons) use drugs, cause “mayhem,” and are catered to by “businesses who don’t really care about anything except that they make a profit.”
Marty Shelton, Board Chairman of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, wants to turn Hollywood into a sundown town. According to Marty, nightclub patrons who are “decidedly minority, brown and black, and my guess, from a lower economic strata,” are “not appealing at all” and you won’t find that a wealthy apartment dweller “from Sunset and Vine was at Janes House hanging with the homies.”
Here’s the backstory: Last weekend a bunch of people from the Sunset-Vine BID and the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce took what they call a “midnight walk” around Hollywood Boulevard. They wander around the Boulevard from midnight until 3 a.m. so they can see how the other half lives in Hollywood. And they don’t like what they see. They don’t like it one bit.
At the March 17th meeting of the Sunset-Vine BID board of directors, Fabiolus Cucina owner Fabio Conti read aloud from an email that Marty sent to the participants describing his reaction. You can watch the relevant segment here, and there’s a transcription after the break. It’s worth reading or hearing the whole thing, because our poor journalistic tools can’t begin to do justice to the offensive craziness to be found therein.
Marty, here’s a newsflash: the city of Los Angeles is “decidedly minority, mostly brown and black.” That’s the way it is here, and the fact that it’s like that in Hollywood at night is a GOOD thing. The fact that it’s NOT like that in Hollywood during the day is the problem. We know it’s too much to ask of the BID, the Chamber, and their minions that they solve this problem, but it’s not too much to ask that they refrain from making it worse by pushing their apartheid policies on our lovely city. If “brown and black” people don’t “mesh with the new high-income residents coming in along with ofc tenants” then let those tenants live somewhere else, like, I don’t know, Minneapolis. Our city is “decidedly minority” and we LIKE it.
After Fabio read aloud this abhorrent piece of racist posturing, jittery little psychopath and owner of multiple Hollywood-area McDonald’s franchises Carol Massie weighed in with another weirdly delusional take on the subject:
Thus spake Carol Massie: You know, one of the problems, I think, and this is from going to security meetings. I think that the patrons do have a lot of money. And they, that’s why they cater to them, and that’s why some of the nightclubs [unintelligible] these kind of people, because they do have that kind of money, and they pay a lot of money for the drink…for, for, for getting into the building. It’s not so much the drinks cause they do other things instead, because after hours it’s mayhem. But whatever they look like, they have money from somewhere and they’re bringing it to these businesses who don’t really care about anything except that they make a profit. Jittery little psychopath Carol Massie’s McDonald’s at DeLongpre Avenue and Vine Street, just sitting there not “really car[ing] about anything except that they make a profit.”
Carol, here’s a newsflash: your company destroys rainforests, destroys the health of the world’s people, exploits its employees, destroys everything, because it doesn’t “really care about anything except that [it] make[s] a profit.” That’s what McDonald’s does. And “these kind of people”?! And “they do other things instead”?!? And “money from somewhere”?!?! “MAYHEM”???!!?!!
And if you don’t think “these kind of people” are good for Hollywood, why do you keep the drive-through window at your Vine Street restaurant open 24 hours? Who do you think wants an Egg McMuffin at 3 a.m. if not nightclub patrons in Hollywood? Do you “really care about anything except that [you] make a profit?” Put your money where your mouth runs off and stop making money off “these kind of people,” why don’t you? We don’t want to seem naive. Rich white racists are racist, but for God’s sake, don’t talk about it on camera. Continue reading Black, Brown, Poor, Nightclub Patrons Are Ruining Hollywood According to Hollywood Chamber Chair Marty Shelton and McDonald’s Owner Carol Massie→
![Jittery little psychopath Carol Massie's McDonald's at DeLongpre Avenue and Vine Street, just sitting there not "really car[ing] about anything except that they make a profit."](https://michaelkohlhaas.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/2015.03.19.carol_.massies.mcdonalds.at_.delongpre.and_.vine_.700.jpg)