Tag Archives: Hollywood Media District BID

Complete Media District Board Minutes 2007—2014 Now Available

Are you bored by the board?  There are no boring subjects, only boring minds.
Are you bored by the board? There are no boring subjects, only boring minds.
I’m pleased to announce that we have the complete minutes of the Hollywood Media District BID now available here as well as in our static storage here. From even the cursory attention I’ve given this document it’s obvious that it contains much valuable information. For instance, try searching in the PDF for “Landreth.” More soon, friends!


The picture of the board was released into the public domain by its author and you can find details and your own copy at Wikimedia here.

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Zillionaire HMD BID Board Member Varet Funded Hate-Spewing Muses of Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik

Norwegian racist Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik: Three degrees of separation from the Hollywood Media District BID
Norwegian racist Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik: Three degrees of separation from the Hollywood Media District BID
As we previously discussed, the Hollywood Media District BID recently expanded the size of its board of directors in order to include Joseph Varet, who told the assembled worthies that he wanted to be on the board “to contribute my own non-profit/for-profit board experience to just contribute towards further…uh…developing the district in a positive and sustainable way.” We don’t know about you, but, to paraphrase Hanns Johst, “Wenn ich überzeugt und nachhaltige höre … entsichere ich meinen Browning!”1

Joseph didn’t go into details about his “own non-profit/for-profit board experience” but, as you may have guessed, have we got some details for you!
Continue reading Zillionaire HMD BID Board Member Varet Funded Hate-Spewing Muses of Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik

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John Irigoyen to Sad Homeless Man: Don’t Worry, I Care About You. Now Have Some Coffee and GTFO.

Dear sad homeless man: Have some coffee and get the fuck out of my BID.
Dear sad homeless man: I care about you. Now have some coffee and get the fuck out of my BID.
Listen here as John Irigoyen relates a story of how he buys coffee for the homeless and makes them feel loved:

Another homeless person by the name of Tyson…big guy [unintelligible] was on the sidewalk. I guess he…eh…he had this attitude that nobody liked him, nobody cared for him [unintelligible] and…um…after I calmed him down I offered him coffee he took it and he was [unintelligible] having a hard time but…[unintelligible]…I saw him three days ago and he said again thank you and he thought nobody cared about him. So he was talking about he wanted…[unintelligible]…so it’s just another example of we’re actually making contact with everybody out there I mean buying him a cup of coffee calm him down a little…

Continue reading John Irigoyen to Sad Homeless Man: Don’t Worry, I Care About You. Now Have Some Coffee and GTFO.

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Joseph Varet Joins Media District BID Board, Announces Impending Weltreisezielkunstheit of Highland Avenue, Ignores Homeless

Joseph Varet, who "approach[es] life as a kind of experiential art form," in the act of not thinking about how many homeless people per day his gallery will consume.
Joseph Varet of Various Small Fires, who “approach[es] life as a kind of experiential art form,” in the act of not worrying at all about how many homeless people per day his gallery and the galleries of his colleagues will consume.
At their meeting on November 20, 2014, the Hollywood Media District BID expanded the size of its Board of Directors from 17 to 19 in order to accommodate two new members. You can watch here as one of them, Joseph Varet, introduces himself to the board.

Here’s the story. Joseph and his wife, Esther Kim, whose marriage was the subject of a surreally sycophantic New York Times article in 2011,1 moved here from Houston or some other place east of San Bernardino sometime roughly around last week, and started a gallery named after an Ed Ruscha project, Various Small Fires. “After all, these are two people who approach life as a kind of experiential art form.”1 First they ran it out of their big-ass house in Venice2 but more recently moved it to a newly-purchased and renovated building at 812 Highland.

It seems that, according to Joseph, all the best contemporary art galleries in the universe are moving to this neighborhood like a bunch of sheep in the wake of Regen Projects’s 2012 relocation to Highland and Santa Monica. Joseph speaks at length about the impending Weltreisezielmodernenkunstheit of the area, which is about 4 blocks from where the Greater West Hollywood Food Coalition does its nightly mitzvah. The GWHFC is opposed in this by the Media District BID with lawsuits, subversive attempts to outlaw sharing food in public, whining, disgraceful letters to the editor, and probably any number of other shameful tactics. Of course, Joseph, whose wife has “never caught him in a lie,”1 mentions none of this. What, after all, do hunger, suffering, misery, have to do with “developing the district in a positive and sustainable way?” “It’s the damage that we do and never know. It’s the words that we don’t say that scare me so.”3

You can read a complete transcript of Joseph’s remarks after the break. We were going to mock them in detail but our modest abilities can’t even touch the speech’s inherent auto-mock functionality. Read it and weep for your city, Angelenos.
Continue reading Joseph Varet Joins Media District BID Board, Announces Impending Weltreisezielkunstheit of Highland Avenue, Ignores Homeless

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Cap’n John Irigoyen: Think of the Children! But Don’t Worry, Kids Aren’t Frightened by the LA Gay and Lesbian Center

Captain John Irigoyen of Universal Protective Services at the Hollywood Media District BID Board meeting of November 20, 2014
Captain John Irigoyen of Universal Protective Services at the Hollywood Media District BID Board meeting of November 20, 2014
Really, Cap’n John? Why’d you bring it up then, given that no sane person would ever suspect that they would be? Methinks the Cap’n doth protest too much. Our diagnosis is unintentional apophasis in the first degree.

But of course, you don’t know what we’re talking about. Let us explain. At their meeting on November 20, 2014, the Hollywood Media District BID expanded the size of its Board of Directors from 17 to 19 members1 because they had two open spots and four applicants for them and why should they choose when they don’t have to? As the Dodo Bird said, “EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.” One of the candidates involved in this board-packing maneuver was a perfectly nice-seeming fellow who was sent over by the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, on Schrader between Hollywood and Selma, about three blocks east of McCadden.
Continue reading Cap’n John Irigoyen: Think of the Children! But Don’t Worry, Kids Aren’t Frightened by the LA Gay and Lesbian Center

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Hollywood Media District Goes Full CYA, Approves Falsified Minutes

Richard Nixon takes break from crying over spilt milk in Hell, speaks from grave, reminding one and all that the coverup is worse than the crime
Richard Nixon takes a break from crying over spilt milk in the republic of Hell to speak from the grave, reminding one and all that the coverup is worse than the crime
Long-time readers of this blog will recall that on October 23, 2014, Sharyn Romano of the Hollywood Beautification Team essentially confessed on camera that she turns a blind eye to the criminal activities of her subordinates. We spent the last month feverishly anticipating the minutes of that meeting, wondering what fantastical description of this faux pas might be presented.

The safest thing, and what we were expecting, would have been to just not mention the hateful affair at all. Meeting minutes are a record of what was done in the meeting rather than a transcript of everything that was said. Since Sharyn’s report didn’t contain any action items it would have been totally reasonable to just note that she gave a report. But, for whatever reason, that’s not what happened.
Continue reading Hollywood Media District Goes Full CYA, Approves Falsified Minutes

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Hollywood Area BIDs Get all Jeansy-Creamsy Over Multiplying Starbuckses, Garcetti Grins All the Way to the Bank

Eric Garcetti, thinking about his Starbucks stock and smiling upon the machinations of the city's BIDs
Eric Garcetti, thinking about his Starbucks stock and smiling down upon the machinational shenanigans of the city’s BIDs
There’s no question that the BIDs love them some Starbucks. Even the Sunset-Vine “Baby BID” loves its Starbucks. Heck, even the Hollywood Media District, the most thuggish of the Hollywood area BIDs, was caught loving up Starbucks in its macho, cowboy-faced manner on August 6, 2014.

But why do they love Starbucks so much? What is in it for them? It can’t be the coffee. Not even the BID folks are that depraved.

Never fear! We are going, inspired by the creative example of our Hollywood area business improvement districts, to explain it all to you!
Continue reading Hollywood Area BIDs Get all Jeansy-Creamsy Over Multiplying Starbuckses, Garcetti Grins All the Way to the Bank

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Christmas Comes Early for Apple Fanboy Steven Whiddon

Apple fanboy Steven Whiddon wondering if he's going to get a MacBook Pro or a lump of coal
Apple fanboy Steven Whiddon wondering if he’s going to get a MacBook Pro or a lump of coal
About 22% (seriously, almost 14 minutes) of the October 23, 2014, meeting of the Hollywood Media District BID Board of Directors was devoted to an interminable discussion about buying new computers for the BID’s secret headquarters on Highland Avenue. You don’t have to watch the whole damn thing, and we have links to various subclips after the break. The upshot is that Steven asks the Board for $7000 to buy a MacBook Pro, a Mac desktop, and an iPad and they vote to give it to him.
Continue reading Christmas Comes Early for Apple Fanboy Steven Whiddon

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Irigoyen/Malick: A Wish Comes True!

John Irigoyen not only defuses mentally unstable homeless situations, he also gives them a pony!
John Irigoyen not only defuses mentally unstable homeless situations, he also gives them a pony!
You can listen to the following words of wisdom, from John Irigoyen’s security report to the Hollywood Media District BID at their meeting on October 23, 2014, concerning the situation described in our first post right here. This is a small part of that report along with a comment by Mike Malick at the end.1

John Irigoyen: And last but least, a little disturbing but, you know, [unintelligible] and unfortunately because somebody made a complaint about my officers harrassing somebody my company got involved did a thorough investigation [unintelligible] did not see anything wrong [unintelligible] I’m still standing [unintelligible] my officers [unintelligible] for right now that’s my report. [unintelligible] any questions?
Continue reading Irigoyen/Malick: A Wish Comes True!

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Steve Whiddon, Looking to Destroy Bus Shelters, Instead Finds Epic Ethnomethodological Fail

Harold Garfinkel righteously, like Peter Pan, moved to rapture by his own brilliance
Vexatiously intelligent sociologist Harold Garfinkel righteously, like Peter Pan, moved to rapture by his own brilliance

Right here you can listen to the following words of wisdom from the October 23, 2014 meeting of the Hollywood Media District BID Board of Directors:

Mike Malick: Uhhh….OK. Bus stop shelter removal.
Steve Whiddon: Yeah, I think I wanted to take…uh…the temperature in the room for two…um…bus stop shelters that are…um…close to Highland and the Kodak Building. I know that they seem to be [unintelligible] placed for…uh…for some activity, um, [unintelligible] even waiting for the bus, so, have you guys discussed this before?
Unidentified Interlocutor: No.
Continue reading Steve Whiddon, Looking to Destroy Bus Shelters, Instead Finds Epic Ethnomethodological Fail

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