Cap’n John Irigoyen: Think of the Children! But Don’t Worry, Kids Aren’t Frightened by the LA Gay and Lesbian Center

Captain John Irigoyen of Universal Protective Services at the Hollywood Media District BID Board meeting of November 20, 2014
Captain John Irigoyen of Universal Protective Services at the Hollywood Media District BID Board meeting of November 20, 2014
Really, Cap’n John? Why’d you bring it up then, given that no sane person would ever suspect that they would be? Methinks the Cap’n doth protest too much. Our diagnosis is unintentional apophasis in the first degree.

But of course, you don’t know what we’re talking about. Let us explain. At their meeting on November 20, 2014, the Hollywood Media District BID expanded the size of its Board of Directors from 17 to 19 members1 because they had two open spots and four applicants for them and why should they choose when they don’t have to? As the Dodo Bird said, “EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.” One of the candidates involved in this board-packing maneuver was a perfectly nice-seeming fellow who was sent over by the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, on Schrader between Hollywood and Selma, about three blocks east of McCadden.

A perfectly nice-seeming new HMD BID Board member from the LA Gay and Lesbian Center
A perfectly nice-seeming new HMD BID Board member from the LA Gay and Lesbian Center
Now, during his report,2 Cap’n John tells us:

…so hopefully we’ll have some changes before we have the [unintelligible] maybe a couple, in a month or two. So, uh, I wanted to bring that to your attention in case we do, see my bike cops going up and down McCadden, that’s the reason, cause of the kids, they actually are afraid to go up that…that area, and, and, [directly addressing the perfectly nice-seeming fellow from LA-LGBT] it has nothing to do with the Gay and Lesbian Center, just individuals are coming around our district, and it’s actually, their Center has a name, when it’s not really true, so [unintelligible].

It’s nice to know you’re out there thinking of the children, Cap’n John, and that their fear has nothing to do with the Gay and Lesbian Center. Thanks for sharing!

  1. We’ll have much more to say about this nonsense later. For now we hope you’ll just accept it as part of the story.
  2. You can watch all 10.5 minutes of it here, but the salient part is clipped out here.

Image of Cap’n John Irigoyen is ©2014 MichaelKohlhaas.org.

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