![A sunny cold November day in Selma Park with grownups sans children, just sitting around enjoying the goddamned park like God and the Recreation and Parks Commission intended them to do.](https://michaelkohlhaas.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/700.2015.11.09.sunny_.cold_.day_.at_.selma_.park_.with_.grownups-300x300.jpg)
Continue reading Since 2004, More than 19% of all Violations of Penal Code 653b(a) Brought to the City Attorney for Prosecution from the Entire Freaking City of Los Angeles Originated at Selma Park
We’ll write about most of them later, but for today, consider the minutes of March 4, 2015. In fact, look on page 3, where we find some jive-ass nonsense labeled “President’s Report.” The President is DCBID and Central City Association Führerin Carol Schatz. The first section of her report is labeled “On the CCA Side.” CCA, of course, is the Central City Association, a private group which claims explicitly that the “work we do lobbying government and advancing policy is shaping the future of Los Angeles business.” That’s not something BIDs are allowed to be involved with, and yet, here they are, being involved with it. Fascism, as we’ve stated repeatedly, thrives on this kind of blurring-of-the-lines between private groups like the CCA and public city agencies1 like the BIDs. BIDs aren’t allowed to lobby on matters that don’t affect stuff within their boundaries. But that’s an argument for another day. Let’s look at what Carol had to say:
Carol had a meeting with Chief Charlie Beck and other BIDS regarding street vending and increase in crime Downtown. The biggest concern is that legalizing street vending will result in streets becoming uncontrollable. The fashion district is a prime example of the effects of street vending. These street vendors are being referred to as micro-entrepreneurs.Chief Beck advised that he would speak to Councilmember Price and Wesson to make it clear that he does not have the resources to manage street vending and it will be very damaging to what has been accomplished in Downtown.
See the problem? Read on!
Continue reading The Discreet Fascism of the Bourgeoisie, DTLA Edition: Featuring DCBID and CCA Führerin Carol Schatz and LAPD Kahuna Charlie Beck Sticking His Tongue Someplace Where, in a Free Society, it Don’t Belong
It turns out that we were dead wrong about that. The HPOA has been trying for over a decade to get the city to put public toilets around Hollywood without any success. Just mere moments ago our faithful correspondent received documents that demonstrate this in great detail, and we apologize for our hasty leaping at conclusions. You can browse through the documents via the new Public Toilets subdirectory of the HPOA directory in the menu structure above.
Continue reading Retraction: Documents Attesting to More than a Decade of Tragically Futile HPOA Support for Public Toilets in Hollywood Show Conclusively that City of Los Angeles is 100% to Blame for their Lack
One of the main points is that the LAPD and the BID conspire to not only cite and/or arrest the vendors, but to destroy their stuff. We’ve written before about how the Hollywood BID Patrol does the same thing. They not only arrest the vendors, but without any kind of due process, they ruin all their stuff, or even worse, appropriate it and steal it. You can see an example of this in the photo somewhere near this sentence. I would imagine that, now that the Fashion District BID is being sued, the HPOA is getting a little nervous. Turn the page to hear why!
At that time, we responded, quite reasonably even if we do say so ourselves, to the effect that:
Carol, here’s a newsflash: your company destroys rainforests, destroys the health of the world’s people, exploits its employees, destroys everything, because it doesn’t “really care about anything except that [it] make[s] a profit.” That’s what McDonald’s does.
Well, now it’s time for us to confess. We didn’t really know that for sure. We were just guessing. For all we knew at that time the corporate overlords of the mighty McDonald’s machine were all sitting around back in good old Oak Brook, Illinois, where they have pitched their mansion, just not caring at all about money cause money can’t buy them love or whatever. We just made a claim that sounded plausible and kept our fingers crossed that we wouldn’t end up in trouble. Well, we were right!
Continue reading World-Renowned Magazine The New Yorker Confirms in Current Issue that Our March 2015 Reporting on Carol Massie’s Self-Delusory Misrepresentation of her Business Model Was 100% Accurate
Kerry Morrison! You just illegally banned everyone from a public park, starting off a chain of at least 46 illegal arrests and God only knows how many color-of-law civil-rights violations. Are you going to Disneyland?! Nope.
Continue reading Selma Park Smoking Gun! HPOA Revealed to be Fully Responsible for Tragic Parkicidal Transformation into Children’s Play Area Based on Kerry Morrison’s Pathos-Laden Misunderstanding of Life, Reality, and Everything