Tag Archives: Documents

First Volume of BID Patrol Reports Now Available on Amazon

The first volume of Hollywood BID Patrol Reports, comprising the years 2007-2011, is now available on Amazon.
The first volume of Hollywood BID Patrol Reports, comprising the years 2007-2011, is now available on Amazon.
The first volume of BID Patrol Reports, prepared by Andrews International Security, to the Joint Security Committee of the Hollywood Entertainment District BID and the Sunset-Vine BID is now available on Amazon.com here. Of course it’s available for free as a unified PDF or, if you prefer, individual documents. Most of these seem to be written by Steve Seyler, although the early ones clearly are not. I’ll have the second volume, comprising the years 2012 through 2014, available in a few days. You can see a complete list of our publications here.

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Bro-fessional Politico Steven Whiddon Coordinates Media District Effort to Powerwash Homeless Away from Willoughby Avenue

Clean shiny sidewalks in front of Public Storage at 6202 Willoughby, devoid of ficus debris and human debris, courtesy of Hollywood Beautification Team Obersturmbannführerin Sharyn Romano and her sprayhouse gang
Clean shiny sidewalks in front of Public Storage at 6202 Willoughby, devoid of ficus debris and human debris, courtesy of Hollywood Beautification Team Obersturmbannführerin Sharyn Romano and her sprayhouse gang
The pressure washer, a useful tool invented in 1927,1 for cleaning gunk off of stuff and powerful enough to strip human flesh off the bone,2 is a useful tool indeed. But as the esteemed Ani DiFranco reminds us, every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.

We are privileged today to present a series of emails between Hollywood Media District Bro-fessional Executroid Director Steven Whiddon and a typical gang of Los Angeles Power Elitrons, including LA City Council District 13 field deputy Dan Halden, in which they plot and plan to use weekly pressure cleaning of the sidewalks outside the Public Storage at 6202 Willoughby Avenue to force homeless people to move elsewhere. You can download a PDF of the exchange here.

The dirty sidewalk starts at the property line of 6202 Willoughby Avenue, proving definitively that the BID's purpose is not to clean the sidewalks, but to force the homeless to relocate
The dirty sidewalk starts at the property line of 6202 Willoughby Avenue, proving definitively that the BID’s purpose is not to clean the sidewalks, but to force the homeless to relocate
Read and despair as Steven Whiddon states definitively that the purpose of the whole plot is “…to address the issues that are affecting the neighborhood.” That might not sound like a smoking gun, but it is. Steven Whiddon is famous for his euphemysterious locutional style. He’s been known to refer to homeless people as “activities,” and here he’s referring to them as “issues.” It’s nothing more than the incomparable Whiddonian style at work. But perhaps you require more proof that he doesn’t mean clean sidewalks when he says “issues?”

Gaze upon the photo above-left. The ficus grunge starts where Public Storage’s property line stops. No one brought those machines out there to clean the sidewalks just to get the sidewalks clean. More proof, if necessary, can be found in Halden’s January 13, 2015 email, in which he specifies that the notices to be hung in advance of the pressure washing ought to state “Please remove all belongings if you do not want them to get wet or possibly destroyed.”
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First Volume of our Series Hollywood Business Improvement District Documents is Now Available on Amazon!

The cover of the first volume in our series of Hollywood BID documents, now available on Amazon.com!
The cover of the first volume in our series of Hollywood BID documents, now available on Amazon.com!
I’m pleased to announce that the first volume of Hollywood BID documents published by MK.org is now available for purchase on amazon.com. This book is nothing more than a paper copy of the minutes of the HMD BID from 2007 through 2014, so of course you can get it for free here or by direct request from the BID. However, if you’re like me and need paper and ink to concentrate, this is a surprisingly cheap way to get a copy, e.g. it’s way cheaper than the 12¢ per page that Kinko’s wants. The minutes contain, among many other treasures, years worth of discussion about the BID’s mostly nefarious efforts to get Ted Landreth to relocate the GWHFC’s feeding program to somewhere, anywhere, other than the corner of Sycamore and Romaine. I set the price as low as I could, but it wasn’t possible to avoid revenues from all sales channels. We will, however, donate double our revenues from all our publishing to the GWHFC.

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Complete Set of Andrews International BID Patrol Reports Now Available

Real cops write too, not just BID Patrol pretenders.  This one's writing a ticket, not a report.  But it is happening in Hollywood, anyway!
Real cops write too, not just BID Patrol pretenders. This one’s writing a ticket, not a report. But it is happening in Hollywood, anyway!
I haven’t had time to update the relevant documents page yet, but for now an apparently complete set of Andrews International reports to the Hollywood Entertainment District BID and the Sunset-Vine BID about its BID patrol activities is available from our static storage here. This is a lot of new material to digest but we’ll be working our way through it and reporting on what we learn, if anything.


The image of the cop writing the ticket is by Chris Yarzab, is released under the CC BY 2.0, and is available from the Wikimedia Foundation here.

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Complete Media District Board Minutes 2007—2014 Now Available

Are you bored by the board?  There are no boring subjects, only boring minds.
Are you bored by the board? There are no boring subjects, only boring minds.
I’m pleased to announce that we have the complete minutes of the Hollywood Media District BID now available here as well as in our static storage here. From even the cursory attention I’ve given this document it’s obvious that it contains much valuable information. For instance, try searching in the PDF for “Landreth.” More soon, friends!


The picture of the board was released into the public domain by its author and you can find details and your own copy at Wikimedia here.

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Valentine’s Day Poetry Slam Special!

Roses are red Violets are blue Scansion's important And using an appropriate number of syllables per line so you don't sound like a doofus is too!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Scansion’s important
And using an appropriate number of syllables per line and some semblance of competent syntax so you don’t sound like a total doofus is too!
We’ve written at some length about Übersicherheitführer Steve Seyler‘s unfortunate penchant for poetry. Today, in honor of this, the most poetic of American holidays, we’re highlighting an email exchange from the archives between Seyler and “Good News Joe” Mariani, showing that Richard Dawkins’s notion that cultural practices spread like deadly infectious agents must be taken seriously by serious people.
We'll be damned if we can figure out what this is.  Some trash on the street?  Anyway, this is to Joe and Steve as Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning were to one another. Rhyme on!
We’ll be damned if we can figure out what this is. Some trash on the street? Anyway, this is to Joe and Steve as Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning were to one another. Rhyme on!
For reasons that we can’t determine from the evidence at hand but in response to the unintelligible photo at left, Good News Joe sent Stevie the following billet-doux:

Steve works so hard
Whether he is near or far
I wish he could go to a lake
Or maybe a Vegas escape

Lack of metrical structure? Check. Unintentional partial rhymes? Check. Unthinking use of brain-dead advertising-slogan phraseology as if it were human language? Check. Complete and utter tin-ear-itude? Check, check, check. He’s learned well from his master, whose classic response may be seen after the break.
Continue reading Valentine’s Day Poetry Slam Special!

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Hollywood BID Patrol Sought in 2013 to Hire Off-Duty LAPD Officers for Video Monitoring

Here are a couple of documents regarding the Hollywood Entertainment District BID Patrol’s request to be allowed to hire off-duty LAPD officers to monitor live video feeds. I’m seeking more information regarding this matter and will make it available as it comes in. There’s something interesting going on here in that the BID patrols already represent an effort to privatize policing in Los Angeles, thereby making it more opaque to public scrutiny. If they hire actual LAPD officers for privately assigned work this really exacerbates the problem, doesn’t it? The documents are embedded after the break and can be downloaded here and here.
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BID Patrol Directive Orders Unconstitutional Coercion of Hollywood Homeless for Sake of Social Cleansing

Donuts: The fuel of terrorism.  BID Patrol Officers in Vine Street Winchell's taking a break from strongarming the homeless into leaving the streets of Hollywood.
Donuts: The fuel of terrorism. BID Patrol Officers in Vine Street Winchell’s taking a break from strongarming the homeless into leaving the streets of Hollywood.
Amongst the emails between Andrews International Security and the HPOA recently obtained by our correspondent, we find a document entitled ANDREWS INTERNATIONAL BID HOMELESS PERSON DIRECTIVE. You can download a copy here or find an embedded copy after the break. There is much of interest in this document, but today we’re looking at the following bit:


If a BID Officer observes a person who, because of their homelessness commits one of the following misdemeanors:

  1. Obstructing passage on sidewalks
  2. Living or sleeping in a vehicle
  3. Loitering in a restroom
  4. Littering
  5. Use of facilities, e.g., sleeping on a bus bench for other than intended purpose
  6. Public nudity as is necessary to carry on the daily necessities of life
  7. Building a structure in a park or public right-of-way
  8. Trespass on or in public or private property

The Officer may offer such individual(s) the option of going to an available shelter in the surrounding Hollywood community as an alternative to arrest. If the homeless person accepts the offer of assistance, no arrest shall take place and arrangements shall be made to transport the homeless person to the shelter.

This was legal in 1942 and, by God, it's legal now.
This was legal in 1942 and, by God, it’s legal now.
Pass over the dyslexic parrot-like legalese. Pass over the semiliterate, unparseable sentences. Pass over the absolutely unintelligible yet still horrific phrase “sleeping on a bus bench for other than intended purpose.” Consider for now just the fact that in June 2014, five months before the date on this document, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals found LA’s law against sleeping in vehicles to be unconstitutional.

So Andrews International Security, with the full knowledge and consent of the Hollywood Property Owners Alliance, has directed its officers to give homeless people sleeping in their cars a choice between arrest or coerced relocation to a homeless shelter. This, despite the fact that common sense, human decency, and the goddamned Ninth Circuit all agree that people have a constitutional right to sleep in their cars, whether or not it’s “because of their homelessness.”
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Somebody at HPOA Is at Least as Good at Public Relations as Heinrich Himmler

Odilo Globocnik, a guy who was very proud of his work and prone to boast about it in public although not, so far as we know, in poetry.  Globus, as his SS buddies called him, had to be told by his boss Heinrich Himmler to shush up because his antics were interfering with the mission.
Odilo Globocnik, “the vilest individual in the vilest organization ever known,”1 master architect of mass murder and a guy who was very proud of his work, enough so to boast about it in public although not, so far as we know, in poetry. Globus, as his SS buddies called him, had to be told by his boss Heinrich Himmler to shush up because his antics were interfering with the mission.
Odilo Globocnik first came to the attention of SS bossman Heinrich Himmler because of his relentless antisemitism and his willingness to murder the Jews of Vienna on a freelance basis even before such practices were sanctioned by German law. Consequently, in 1939 Himmler promoted Globocnik and moved him to occupied Poland. In 1941 Himmler directed Globocnik to oversee one of the most enormous instances of genocide in the history of the world: Aktion Reinhardt.

This was a big step up for Globus, as Odilo was affectionately known to his buddies in the Schutzstaffel, “the vilest organization ever known.”1 In localized modern terms, it’s like being moved from the suburban backwater of Inglewood to the big-time bright-lights-big-city cosmopolis of Hollywood! Globus took to his new surroundings like Samson to the Philistines, and, by late 1943 when he wound up operations, more than 2,000,000 Jews were dead. The organizational aspects of this accomplishment were overwhelmingly intricate, so Globus felt understandably proud of his masterful work and wanted to crow about it.

STOP digging any more mass graves and clear up the old ones.  Any form of publicity will be harmful.  AND STOP WRITING POETRY, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!
STOP digging any more mass graves and clear up the old ones. Any form of publicity will be harmful. AND STOP WRITING POETRY, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!
However, Heinrich Himmler, Reichsführer of the SS and Globocnik’s boss, had begun to notice that the rest of the world, and even a significant number of German citizens, weren’t too happy about the systematic deportation and gassing of human beings on this scale. As historian Bettina Stangneth has it:

The Nazis might have kept telling themselves that the extermination of the Jews was the only means for their survival, but they lacked sufficient faith in this view to share it with the rest of the world. The Nazi police state was born of the fear that not even its own population would understand its campaign of murder. Himmler guessed early on that this “glorious chapter of our history” could never be written, and he prevented Odilo Globocnik from sinking a memorial plaque into the earth for the heroes of Operation Reinhard…In summer 1942 [Himmler] ordered his commanders to find a way to avoid digging any more mass graves and to clear up the old ones. Any form of publicity would be harmful.2

Meanwhile, back on the home front, on December 11, 2014, the Joint Security Committee of the Hollywood Entertainment District BID and the Sunset-Vine BID held its monthly meeting.
Continue reading Somebody at HPOA Is at Least as Good at Public Relations as Heinrich Himmler

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BID Patrollies Arrest Black Man for Any Random Thing that Pops Into Their Heads

BID patrollies preparing to arrest a man for blocking the sidewalk even though he is evidently not blocking the sidewalk.  Someone would later alter the charge to conform to reality.
BID patrollies preparing to arrest a man for blocking the sidewalk even though it is manifestly evident that he is not blocking the sidewalk. Someone would later alter the charge to conform to reality.
Watch the first minute of this video and see, in 2010, some BID Patrollies confront and accuse a man of “blocking the sidewalk”:

Officer: OK, so do me that favor and just get up and go somewhere cause you’re blocking the sidewalk.

Man: Not blocking the sidewalk, people got places to walk right past me.

Officer: You’re blocking the sidewalk.

Man: I’m not blocking nothing.

And you can see from the video that the man is not, in fact, blocking the sidewalk. But, unsurprisingly, the BID patrollies arrest him anyway.
Continue reading BID Patrollies Arrest Black Man for Any Random Thing that Pops Into Their Heads

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