Tag Archives: Board of Directors

By Its Own Definition the Hollywood Property Owners Alliance is Acting Craaaazy!

I said WHAT?!  You must be crazy...
I said WHAT?! You must be crazy…
If you click here you will be able to read the Spring 2014 issue of the Hollywood Entertainment District BID’s newsletter. It’s chock-full of mockable goodness, but today our attention is focused on page 7, which contains an article called Combatting Alcohol Issues.

Out of the many mockable statements in this piece, we have chosen for today’s post this minor claim as our topic: “As Albert Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”

First of all, Einstein didn’t say this, as anyone with any sense of history would have known immediately.1 Second of all, no matter who said it, it’s not just wrong, but stupidly wrong. Third, it’s a dreadfully overworked cliché. Finally, as with so many too-good-to-be-true misattributions, this is an instance of projection; that is, the author’s alienation2 from her own subconsciously perceived or imagined errors, turning them into imaginary characteristics of some delusionally constructed alterity.3

But for the sake of argument, we’ll assume that whoever wrote this little newsletter gem is right at least insofar as her own perception of insanity. Now what?
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Joseph Varet Joins Media District BID Board, Announces Impending Weltreisezielkunstheit of Highland Avenue, Ignores Homeless

Joseph Varet, who "approach[es] life as a kind of experiential art form," in the act of not thinking about how many homeless people per day his gallery will consume.
Joseph Varet of Various Small Fires, who “approach[es] life as a kind of experiential art form,” in the act of not worrying at all about how many homeless people per day his gallery and the galleries of his colleagues will consume.
At their meeting on November 20, 2014, the Hollywood Media District BID expanded the size of its Board of Directors from 17 to 19 in order to accommodate two new members. You can watch here as one of them, Joseph Varet, introduces himself to the board.

Here’s the story. Joseph and his wife, Esther Kim, whose marriage was the subject of a surreally sycophantic New York Times article in 2011,1 moved here from Houston or some other place east of San Bernardino sometime roughly around last week, and started a gallery named after an Ed Ruscha project, Various Small Fires. “After all, these are two people who approach life as a kind of experiential art form.”1 First they ran it out of their big-ass house in Venice2 but more recently moved it to a newly-purchased and renovated building at 812 Highland.

It seems that, according to Joseph, all the best contemporary art galleries in the universe are moving to this neighborhood like a bunch of sheep in the wake of Regen Projects’s 2012 relocation to Highland and Santa Monica. Joseph speaks at length about the impending Weltreisezielmodernenkunstheit of the area, which is about 4 blocks from where the Greater West Hollywood Food Coalition does its nightly mitzvah. The GWHFC is opposed in this by the Media District BID with lawsuits, subversive attempts to outlaw sharing food in public, whining, disgraceful letters to the editor, and probably any number of other shameful tactics. Of course, Joseph, whose wife has “never caught him in a lie,”1 mentions none of this. What, after all, do hunger, suffering, misery, have to do with “developing the district in a positive and sustainable way?” “It’s the damage that we do and never know. It’s the words that we don’t say that scare me so.”3

You can read a complete transcript of Joseph’s remarks after the break. We were going to mock them in detail but our modest abilities can’t even touch the speech’s inherent auto-mock functionality. Read it and weep for your city, Angelenos.
Continue reading Joseph Varet Joins Media District BID Board, Announces Impending Weltreisezielkunstheit of Highland Avenue, Ignores Homeless

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Kerry Morrison Pisses, Moans about Inefficiency of Feds, Runs Crying to Mommy State

The SSA building on Vine Street; a soft target?
The SSA building on Vine Street; a soft target?
Listen here as Kerry Morrison, at the November 11, 2014, meeting of the Central Hollywood Coalition, bosses of the Sunset-Vine Business Improvement District, discusses what is to be done about the Social Security Administration building on Vine Street above Santa Monica Blvd:
Kerry Morrison: So…um…just in terms of solving a couple stakeholders’ requests we, we’ve been getting a lot of…um…complaints about people gathering around the Social Security building on Vine Street. It’s a rather unsecured building after six o’clock…um…and there’s been…if you drive by there you see it, especially on the weekends, people sleeping in the parking lot…
Unidentified Interlocutor: And it’s in the BID?
Kerry Morrison: And it’s in the BID, on Vine Street, so it’s south of…um…Picture Head…
Unidentified Interlocutors: [interrupting] [something unintelligible about the surplus store] Kerry Morrison: So we met with…um…the owner of the building and the federal police? And general services department and the Social Security folks and our BID security to just do some problem solving on how to harden the target [unintelligible] Kind of a, you know, a lack of mobility of the federal government to really secure that building…uh…[unintelligible] They say they don’t have the money to put in a fence, or and the federal police work Monday through Friday from nine to five and they’re supposed to be the ones who are patrolling that property but they’re off [unintelligible]… So, um, we’re kinda [unintelligible] a little bit frustrated because it’s kinda become a, a bit of a drain on our resources and…um…the owner of the building had a great idea, he would like to reach out to our congressional representatives and maybe they have some pull with the federal bureaucracy. So [unintelligible] reached out to congressman Adam Schiff’s office and immediately they jumped all over it, said we should have been in that meeting too, you know, we can help you with the general services department, so we’re gonna write a letter, kind of outline what our issues are, and see if we get some help with that…

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Christmas Comes Early for Apple Fanboy Steven Whiddon

Apple fanboy Steven Whiddon wondering if he's going to get a MacBook Pro or a lump of coal
Apple fanboy Steven Whiddon wondering if he’s going to get a MacBook Pro or a lump of coal
About 22% (seriously, almost 14 minutes) of the October 23, 2014, meeting of the Hollywood Media District BID Board of Directors was devoted to an interminable discussion about buying new computers for the BID’s secret headquarters on Highland Avenue. You don’t have to watch the whole damn thing, and we have links to various subclips after the break. The upshot is that Steven asks the Board for $7000 to buy a MacBook Pro, a Mac desktop, and an iPad and they vote to give it to him.
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Photo ID required to attend Sunset-Vine BID meeting, hear about tree vandalism

As mentioned briefly below, I attended and filmed a meeting of the Sunset-Vine BID on Tuesday, October 14, 2014. It was held in the Pickford Center of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences on Vine Street. I was required by the Academy’s security guard to produce my driver’s license and to allow him to record my name and DL number in order to gain entrance to the meeting. As long-time readers of this blog know, the Brown Act states that:
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Our brand new YouTube channel

Hello world! We have a YouTube channel and we know how to use it! Look there for the latest video news about the three Hollywood area BIDs. Our inaugural video is a mind-numbingly boring 48 minute slab of beef showing today’s meeting of the Sunset-Vine BID Board of Directors at the Mary Pickford Center of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences on Vine Street. Watch the whole thing at your peril. We’ll be commenting on a few choice clips as we have time. You can watch the video embedded after the break if you prefer…
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