Well, yesterday’s post on how the BID Patrol arrests about 90% fewer people per year since October 2014 (when I started writing about them) seems to have reminded readers that I haven’t written much about them lately.¹ I got some correspondence on the matter, and the result is this post.

The main substantial matter disclosed here is the publication of some new records about the BID Patrol. I’ll be writing about some of this stuff in great detail in the future, but until then, you can find an assortment of records here on my Archive.Org site and also I’ve updated the collection of Steve Seyler’s imbecilic reports to the Joint Security Committee with entries from 2016 and 2017.²

Also to be found after the break is some much deserved, much delayed, mockery of Ms. Kerry Morrison, who last summer, it seems, was named one of LA’s 500 most influential zillionaire lackeys by the Los Angeles Business Journal, paper of record for the zillionaire elite of Los Angeles, in what seems to be nothing much more than a ramified Who’s Who scam given that they’re selling copies for $100 each. You can read Ms. Kerry Morrison’s entry before turning the page to read what it means!³

So let’s just take this jive a line at a time, shall we?

Enjoy most: Working alongside people who believe in Hollywood to help this community flourish.

When Ms. Kerry Morrison talks about “people who believe in Hollywood” she’s talking about people who believe in her morally constricted white supremacist bluenosed puritanical vision of Hollywood. If you believe in heladeros in Hollywood, or street performers in Hollywood, or Latino art genres in Hollywood, or even freaking Peruvians in Hollywood, not to mention Latinos in general in Hollywood then it would seem that, according to Ms. Kerry Morrison anyway, you are not in it “to help this community flourish.” Hollywood cannot flourish with Peruvians in it, saith Kerry Morrison.

Toughest challenge: Seeing the increase in our homeless population despite years of working to build coalitions and seek resources.

Kerry Morrison, the heavily armed Mother Teresa of Hollywood, has been playing the role of velvet glove to the iron-fisted pummelling of the Hollywood homeless by her lackeys on the various incarnations of the BID Patrol for more than 20 years at this point. She makes stuff up to suit the needs of her zillionaire employers, she plays weirdo favoritism games with homeless people in Hollywood, she sees arresting homeless people as essential to helping them.

In short, she’s full of crazy delusional theories about how to deal with homelessness and facing up to the fact that this bullshit she’s been wallowing in for 20 years doesn’t work is her “[t]oughest challenge”. But nevertheless, every one of her methods just happens to suit the highly specific economic needs of the zillionaires who pay her wages of sin. This can’t be a coincidence, so the most likely explanation is that she’s forgotten or never knew what her actual purpose is.⁴

Best advice: Listen attentively. Be grateful. Speak truth. Serve first. Plant seeds of change.

I actually don’t know what to say to this. I’m actually left speechless. Maybe she means the best advice she’s heard and ignored? Or maybe this is the best advice she gives when she’s in do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do mode? “Speak truth”?! “Speak [freaking] truth”!!?! Kerry Morrison, who’s well-known to lie in the service of her master, and her best advice is “Speak truth”?? Cool story, bro.

Beverage: Silver Oak Cabernet.

When Kerry Morrison speaks of the homeless, she does not speak of their “beverage.” No, she speaks of their substance of choice. Of course she’s famous for her schizophrenic views on alcohol use, her bizarre and misguided attempts to prevent homeless people from drinking and her delusional theories about how to do this without affecting the economic interests of zillionaires. She ignores simple solutions in favor of her ineffective, made-up, ineffective solutions, no doubt because the simple solutions don’t harm homeless people.

But of course, all that anguished anti-alcohol activity is against people who drink substances of choice rather than beverages. If one, like Ms. Kerry Morrison, has a beverage rather than a substance of choice, one is a responsible member of one’s community, one can be trusted, and, if one likes something ritzy and expensive like Silver freaking Oak freaking Caber-freaking-net, well then, that goes double, triple, a zillionfold!

Actually, as an aside, when I started writing this post, I really had no idea what this Silver Oak jive might be. However, I stumbled upon this really useful website which made everything very much more clear than before, especially given that Kerry Morrison’s well-known to be a woman of wealth and taste.

Bucket list: Take hobo lessons.

In closing, I’d just like to say that as much as I and my colleagues here at MK.Org delight in painting Ms. Kerry Morrison as an inflexible puritanical martinette, we all of us applaud her willingness to educate herself on the subject of hobos, about which all evidence suggests she’s deeply ignorant. Many people at her age have become unwilling to rethink their long-entrenched positions. The fact that she is willing to risk creating an impression of ignorance by publicly announcing her intent to take lessons focusing on one of the central concerns of her long career speaks very, very well of her. And on that disingenuously positive note, I will take my leave of you!

Image of Hurricane Kerry Morrison is ©2017 MichaelKohlhaas.Org and was cobbled up outta this smidgeon of goodness right here.

1. As I mentioned yesterday this is largely due to the HPOA’s illegal CPRA policies, as described here. Also as I mentioned, I’m working on getting this and some related problems straightened out, and may be able to resume full coverage at some point in the future, or else get used to the new normal if that turns out to be the last best choice.
2. There seem to be some gaps in the collection. I’m not sure if there actually are gaps or if they just didn’t meet that much. I’ll find out at some point, but it’s not a really high priority right now.
3. If that goes away, here is an Archived version. If that goes away too here is a screenshot.
4. It’s to serve her masters, not to help the helpless.