Maybe you remember our semi-recent post about the July 28 meeting of the Joint Security Committee, in which some genius of a Sheriff’s deputy poured forth a never-ending stream of genius-level similes, including a comparison of sidewalk vendors at MacArthur Park with “too many animals in one cage.” Well, with all the furor over Hollywood nightclub totalitarianism, we’ve been too busy to get back to that video until this morning. Take a look here as our friends on the committee and some random cop discuss the Rusty Mullet. As always, a complete transcription may be found at the end of this post, but here is essentially what was discussed in this metaphorically smoke-filled back room.

Fred Rosenthal, of friendly neighborhood electronics retailer Ametron, who’s evidently the chair of this committee, noted that there was no one there from the City Attorney’s office to make a report. Kerry Morrison, who’s keeping track of the progress of the BID’s ongoing conspiracy against Hollywood bars and nightclubs whose patrons don’t match her favored color scheme, announced that they were busy downtown at the Rusty Mullet CUP revocation hearing.

Some random cop from the Hollywood Division then proceeded to ramble on about how the LAPD is targeting the Rusty Mullet, complete with can-I-get-a-witness hallelujah-interjections in four part harmony by John Tronson. After that, Kerry Morrison, as pictured above, actually giggled and counted down the remaining Hollywood nightclubs on her fingers. Of course, those aren’t all targeted for destruction by her and her cronies. Some, after all, cater to white people and are owned by former HPOA Board Member John Lyons, so those can stay. Read on for details!

What the cop said is followed by translation into English:

• Multiple offenses. In the past, I would say, about a year. — We’ve been targeting them for a year
• …serving drunks, certain signage, certain CUP violations, the land use — The report said murder, rape, burglary, kidnapping, but I can only remember the ones that really happened, like forbidden signage
• When they violate those obligations or agreements either we give a verbal warning, give them citations. — If we’ve been told to target a bar we cite them for everything possible. If they’re the Avalon, owned by John Lyons, we do not.
• Rusty Mullet is sitting at Las Palmas and Hollywood on a busy intersection on the Strip. They got looked at a lot. — It’s right next to Jameson’s, which didn’t get looked at a lot because it’s full of white people so no one in power cares.
• Loud music, all that stuff. — Without the Rusty Mullet, the corner of Las Palmas and Hollywood at 11 p.m. on Saturday night would be as quiet as the grave. Quieter. — Sorry, we tried to translate that one into English, but it even broke the usually ultra-reliable Google copspeak-to-human-language translator.
• Cosmo’s another one. The PLUM hearing is next month. We’re working on pulling the permit altogether. — We’ve got a little list. The Avalon is not on it.

And to finish out the tableau, watch Kerry Morrison giggle nervously and proceed to hold up four fingers to represent the four nightclubs left in Hollywood that she and her minions haven’t destroyed yet. What does John Tronson have to say about the fact that his business improvement district is annihilating the businesses of the tenants of the property owners who pay the salary of his executive directrix? GREAT! says John Tronson.

Guys!! It’s not nice to destroy the businesses of your fellow human beings. This isn’t going to stay hidden forever. It’s all gonna come out in the open, and how will you feel about it then? You have to learn to think ahead in life. You can run on for a long time, but sooner or later…well, we’re just gonna let Johnny Cash have the last word here.

Complete transcription of the remarks under consideration:

Fred Rosenthal: Neighborhood prosecutor, I don’t think is around…

Kerry Morrison: No, they’re actually downtown today. Rusty Mullet is going through a revocation hearing on their CUP today.

John Tronson: Oh really? Wow. Well, what was the offense? Or offenses?

Random Cop: It’s offenses. Multiple offenses. In the past, I would say, about a year. They’re about to get a full hearing, see the outcome of that.

JT: Underage, or…

RC: Serving intox…serving drunks, certain signage, certain CUP violations, the land use… There’s certain conditions…

JT: Sure…

RC: …they agree to be a good business operator. When they violate those obligations or agreements either we give a verbal warning, give them citations. We do multiple checks on certain locations. Rusty Mullet is sitting at Las Palmas and Hollywood…

JT: Right.

RC: …on a busy intersection on the Strip. They got looked at a lot. Loud music, all that stuff. It compiles together. And basically after a certain time, all those citations go to [unintelligible]…

JT: Right. It’s good to hear you guys are working on those CUP violations.

RC: Yeah, we are. My [unintelligible] is very busy, so they check all the time. Cosmo’s another one. The PLUM hearing is next month. We’re working on pulling the permit altogether. They just…too much trouble. Too much trouble and they’re not very willing to cooperate.

Kerry Morrison: [Privileged chuckling] We’re down to about less than five nightclubs in Hollywood, really…

JT: Great.

KM: It’s really completely changed.

Image of Kerry Morrison practicing higher mathematics is ©2016 MichaelKohlhaas.org.