Newly vandalized jacaranda tree on Vine Street, May 13, 2015We’ve been writing about the continuing story of the Vine Street tree vandal since October of last year. The Sunset-Vine BID has been announcing the imminent arrest of the criminal for at least that long. In fact, we could have sworn that they mentioned it again at last month’s Joint Security Committee meeting although we’ll be damned if we can find it in there now. We’ve also noted that this criminal does in fact seem to be targeting the BID’s trees, although as Kurt Cobain might have said but didn’t, just because you have enemies doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid. Proof that the vandalism as pictured above was newly committed: as-yet unwilted tree fronds at the base of the tree. Is the baseball cap evidence of the workings of a depraved criminal mind? Obviously. Who else but depraved criminals root for American League teams?As you can see to your left, though, the tree vandal is still at large and working despite the dogged efforts of Keystone Kop-wannabes Andrews International Security, the Hollywood Neighborhood Prosecutor, the LAPD, and everyone else. Perhaps there’s more than one tree vandal, and though they arrest particular instances, new vandals rise up hydra-like after the manner of peasant rebellion leaders everywhere. General Ned Ludd, whose name graced many a peasant-rebel communique. His name was never tied down to one body and as his incarnations were arrested and killed new ones arose like the phoenix to continue his work.
In any case, someone’s still out there ripping up those jacarandas. While, as a matter of editorial and ethical policy we do not condone tree vandals and, despite our natural-born bleeding-heart tendencies, we do support legal sanctions against them, we still have to wonder at the absolute blindness of the HPOA, who doesn’t seem even to be considering the contingency that what they’re seeing here are the opening maneuvers in a full-blown peasant uprising. One does, after all, recall what the man said: “Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same.”1
