Background: You can read my previous stories on the Skid Row Neighborhood Council formation effort and also see Jason McGahan’s article in the Weekly and Gale Holland’s article in the Times for more mainstream perspectives.
With all the recent revelations about how Estela Lopez ran United Downtown LA’s finances and how she used her official dlanc.com email address to send out an anti-SRNC email blast and how she and a bunch of her asshole buddies on the DLANC board seem to have lied to President Patti about their involvement with this shadowy anonymous gang, with all that, as I said, it may be easy to forget that these co-conspirators aren’t just a bunch of slavering zillionaire cannibals, blithely using their razor-sharp fangs to crack the bones of their victims that they may joyously slurp up the marrow and then slaking their thirst with long noisy draughts of the steaming blood of their prey. They’re that and so much more!
They’re also, it turns out, a band of jovial jokesters, merrily bantering with one another while they stir their witches’ brew. It being a lazy Sunday afternoon, I thought I’d take some time out from the hard-hitting journalistic salvos my loyal audience craves and look at one of these humorous moments. After all, one doesn’t know one’s enemy until one knows what they find funny.
Here’s the story, then. Recall, if you will, that all these conspirators were vying with one another to set up pop-up polls in the days leading up to the SRNC formation election. Emails were flying both thick and fast about who had gotten a new poll, who had hauled all their tenants off to vote at a poll, and so on. Now comes Karen Christopherson, some kind of real estate drone with a shadowy company known as A.I. Management, which seems to be the boss of an office building at 420 E. 3rd Street in Little Tokyo.
On April 3 at 1:05 p.m. she fired off this little number, announcing that she was having a pop-up in her building and that she’d instructed security to validate parking for the event. Look carefully for the joke, cause it’s easy to miss! (And there’s a transcription after the break, of course).
There is also a pop up at 420 E. 3rd in Little Tokyo. It is on the corner of San Pedro and 3rd tomorrow from 1:00 to 4:00. I will tell security to validate you if you ask for one. We would love to only validate yes voters
And a mere 11 minutes later, cause this is a guy who, in the absence of IRL friends, spends his life waiting for his phone to ping, Jacob Douglas Van Horn, famously piratical real estate vigilante, replied all thusly:
Thank you Karen but I certainly hope you mean no voters.
Doesn’t seem that funny to you? You’re not alone. But funny it nevertheless is. We can tell it’s funny by Karen Christopherson’s reply:
Haha ooops! I meant NO
Haha ooops indeed! Well, that’s the story of what passes for humor amongst the minions of United Downtown Los Angeles. But there’s something serious lurking in the background there. Take a look at the email that Karen Christopherson was replying to at the beginning of the story. It’s from Jacob Douglas Van Horn to the usual gang of idiots:
We have challenges being prepped due to the number of times online voting went down. In the mean time we need to focus on the pop-up up polls. Today is the poll at CCEA. Estella has arranged transportation for her owners to bring in people.
Robert Newman is on a call as we speak working to get an additional pop up at the Hill Street Jewelry Center The 4th and Main popup on Wednesday if [sic] where we need to deliver from the Historic Core. It is from 12-3 at the Medallion apartments. We need as much assistance as possible here. If you have staff please give them some time to get to this poll. According to the data I am working with our target here needs to be 500 to counter what they bring on the 6th.
Please let me know if I can give anyone any assistance. Reach out on my cell at 3103218818.
Jacob Van Horn
New Downtown Brokerage
See where he says that they’re preparing challenges of their own should they have lost the election, to be based on the inadequacy of the online voting platform? This is pretty rich given that the City had suspended online voting in neighborhood council elections precisely because it didn’t work and it was only brought back for the SRNC election due to the incessant whining of Jacob Douglas Van Horn and his forty-leven best buddies on the United Downtown LA Mailing list in addition to the Satanic scheming of José Huizar.
They suspended online voting because it didn’t work. They brought online voting back specifically to sink the SRNC even though it still didn’t work. If the SRNC had won they were going to appeal the election because online voting didn’t work. The moral of the story? Well, as always, just as it doesn’t matter to Karen freaking Christopherson if she says yes or no because the outcome is fixed anyway, it doesn’t matter whether online voting works or doesn’t work. The zillionaires win either way.
Image of Jacob Douglas Van Horn looking a little like Elvis Presley after he just got beat up by yet another thirteen-year-old girl’s dad is ©2017 MichaelKohlhaas.Org and was mashed up outta this Jacob Van Horn and also this little boys’ night out.