World-Renowned Magazine The New Yorker Confirms in Current Issue that Our March 2015 Reporting on Carol Massie’s Self-Delusory Misrepresentation of her Business Model Was 100% Accurate

Jittery little psychopath and Hollywood McDonald's queen Carol Massie who, in direct contradiction to high McDonald's corporate-level mucky-mucks, thinks her business is not all about the bucks.
Jittery little psychopath and Hollywood McDonald’s queen Carol Massie who, in direct contradiction to high McDonald’s corporate-level mucky-mucks, thinks her business is not all about the bucks. Despite its appearance this is not a surveillance picture. It’s just a picture with that surveillance aesthetic!
Remember back in March 2015 when we reported on the weirdly racist meanderings of Hollywood Chamber of Commerce flunky Marty Shelton as filtered through the unrepressed id of jittery little psychopath and Hollywood McDonald’s queen Carol Massie, who, in a surprising-even-for-her outburst at a meeting of the Sunset-Vine BID Board blamed Hollywood nightclub owners for ruining everything because they run “…these businesses who don’t really care about anything except that they make a profit.”??

At that time, we responded, quite reasonably even if we do say so ourselves, to the effect that:

Carol, here’s a newsflash: your company destroys rainforests, destroys the health of the world’s people, exploits its employees, destroys everything, because it doesn’t “really care about anything except that [it] make[s] a profit.” That’s what McDonald’s does.

Well, now it’s time for us to confess. We didn’t really know that for sure. We were just guessing. For all we knew at that time the corporate overlords of the mighty McDonald’s machine were all sitting around back in good old Oak Brook, Illinois, where they have pitched their mansion, just not caring at all about money cause money can’t buy them love or whatever. We just made a claim that sounded plausible and kept our fingers crossed that we wouldn’t end up in trouble. Well, we were right!

Jittery little psychopath Carol Massie's McDonald's at DeLongpre Avenue and Vine Street, just sitting there not "really car[ing] about anything except that they make a profit."
Jittery little psychopath Carol Massie’s McDonald’s at DeLongpre Avenue and Vine Street, just sitting there not “really car[ing] about anything except that they make a profit.”

In the current issue of The New Yorker, cover date November 2, 2015, we find an article by the incomparable Michael Specter. We won’t bother you with what-all the article was about, although it was certainly quite interesting. You can read it here. All that matters for our current purposes is that Specter interviewed a dude name of Dan Coudreaut, who is, and we quote, “the company’s executive chef and vice-president of culinary innovation.” And what did Dan Coudreaut, who certainly oughta know if anyone does, have to say, you ask? Well, here ’tis:

“Our main job is to create value for our shareholders, for our company, for our restaurateurs. We are not a nonprofit organization and we are not married to any one area. We are married to being a successful business.”

So, see?! What we said back in March actually turned out to be true! We certainly dodged a bullet there, eh? Just imagine if somehow in secret McDonald’s had turned out to be a freaking charity! We’d-a been so busted! It’s all good!


Image of jittery little psychopath Carol Massie is a crop of the California public record to be found on the HPOA website, placing it, as far as we can see, in the public domain. Image of JLP Carol Massie’s McDonald’s on Vine Street is ©2015 MichaelKohlhaas.org.

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