As you know, I’ve been getting massive luscious piles of emails from the South Park BID lately because Zeck Dreck Ellen Salome Riotto, unlike her bloodstained cynical antisocial prostrating-herself-before-the-stinking-hooves-of-satan predecessor, places some importance on actually following the law.1 And a lot of the stuff I’m getting is really serious. Implicates matters of the deepest public interest and so on.2
But it’s not all serious, friends. You know what all work and no play does to Jack, right? Just think what it’s gonna do to us. A fate worse than a fate worse than death! And so follow me as we indulge ourselves in a little pure entertainment!3 Tonight’s post is the merest of mere trifles, a bagatelle, a cipher, a nothing, a frothy confection of emptiness, and so on. But it’s funny, so here we are. And it’s one of those funny things that really doesn’t need any explanation. Explanation would just kill the delicate flavor. It’d be gilding the lily, throwing perfume on the violet, adding another hue unto the rainbow, and so freaking on.
Thus, friends, just read this email, wherein Ellen Salome Riotto tells her board that all their emails are going to end up on the open internet courtesy of yours truly but that there’s nothing to worry about as long as they are thoughtful about what they write. Or, she failed to say, as long as they just stop engaging in activities that force them to be thoughtful about what they write for fear of it ending up on this blog. And there’s a transcription of the whole damn thing right after the break!
From: Ellen Riotto <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: Robin Bieker <email@example.com>, Robert Buente <firstname.lastname@example.org>, Daniel Taban <email@example.com>, Terri Toennies <firstname.lastname@example.org>, Richard Wu <email@example.com>, James Pugh <JPugh@sheppardmullin.com>, Channing Henry <firstname.lastname@example.org>, Paul Keller <email@example.com>, Faye Washington <firstname.lastname@example.org>, “Terry Rubinroit” <email@example.com>, Lee Zeidman <firstname.lastname@example.org>, Thomas Cho <email@example.com>, “Caster, Patrick – CHMC” <Patrick.Caster@DignityHealth.org>, Del Morais <firstname.lastname@example.org>, “May Chen Tham” <email@example.com>
Subject: CPRA request
Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2018 23:08:25
This is an FYI that we’re responding today to a Public Record Request which includes any email in staff’s possession To/From/CC board members. Staff tries to maintain a clean inbox/outbox, but as you might imagine, it’s tough to stay on top of it.
These records will most likely end up on a blog, but I don’t believe there’s anything to be alarmed about. Let this be a reminder to be extra thoughtful about what we put in writing, as everything is subject to the CA Public Records Act.
Image of Ellen Salome Riotto is ©2018 MichaelKohlhaas.Org.
- And that’s all to the good and gives me an inordinate amount of respect for Ellen Salome Riotto, to the point where I almost feel sorry for using the fruits of her good intentions to mock and poke fun at her. As I said, though, it’s almost. Will I stop? Nope. Oh yeah, when I say the amount of respect is inordinate I mean, of course, that it’s inordinate in the context of BIDlandia. In the context of reality it’s extremely ordinate. It’s probably very subordinate although for some reason that word has connotations other than those I’m seeking. I hope you know what I mean. If not, who reads the damn footnotes anyway? Certainly not me!
- So far mostly having to do with the Brown Act, which this particular batch of bad BIDdies cannot for the life of them seem to comply with. The violations are so flagrant, so freaking florid, that I still can’t wrap my head around the lurid insanity of it all. I promise you that the forthcoming demand letter is going to blow your mind. However, practical considerations force me to continue to delay. It should all be settled in a week or two and then look out Parkies!
- Based on actual public records though, of course. That’s how we roll around here, innit?