Recall that as of ten days ago the parties in the Lunada Bay Boys surf-thuggery case found themselves unable to schedule defendant Alan “Jalian” Johnston’s deposition. Well, this afternoon, Magistrate Judge Rozella Oliver filed a minute order reporting that they still have not been able to schedule the deposition (as always, there’s a transcription after the break). Furthermore, she orders them to get their damn act together and have it scheduled by Friday, June 30 or else everyone has to write five page briefs explaining what they did to try to come to terms with one another. This is, I think, the judicial equivalent of the babies getting fussy and scratching at themselves until mom makes them put their mittens on.
Jalian Johnston, of course, is more than just a non-member of the County’s most famous nonexistent surf local nongang. He is also a make-believe poor boy who “likes to live as if he were penniless,” and, additionally, a dedicated crafter who sells his world-famous crafts at local souvenir shops. He is also the proud possessor of a Zonker-Harris-esque surflosophy, proudly propounded in that linked-to article which, also interestingly, turns out to essentially subvert a crucial element of the defense of the case:
Continue reading Lunada Bay Boys Parties Still Getting Fussy Over Scheduling Of Jalian Johnston Deposition, Magistrate Judge Oliver Says Work It Out By This Friday Or Else
Write “I Will Not Be An Asshole” 5000 Times On The Board Everybody Has To File Five Page Briefs Explaining Why They Can’t Schedule The Damn Depo Like Grownups