Oh for goodness sake, friends! Day before yesterday I took an astonishingly complex combination of public transit routes out to the the wild and untamed-by-rule-of-law hinterlands of Studio City to attend my very first meeting of the board of directors of the Studio City BID. And Lord, what a scene! What a raving conglomeration of angry white men! I have a serious topic to write about with respect to this meeting, but there are some things I have to take care of first, so it’ll have to wait. Thus, tonight, you get a lighthearted highlights slash bloopers reel of some of the oh so crazy antics of these oh so crazy folks.
When I first arrived in the meeting room1 there were board packets at every seat at the table. Board packets everywhere! Additionally, incompetently pedantic flunky Damien Gatto was shuffling self-importantly about the place so I asked him to see a copy of the packet. Now, I don’t tend to ask BIDdies for any favors, because what’s the point? And this request for a board packet to look at was not asking for a favor. The Brown Act at §54957.5 requires any materials distributed to the board for a meeting to be made available to the audience immediately.2
Evidently pedantically incompetent flunky Damian Gatto never heard about this, though, because, says he, he’s only going to give me the minutes and the agenda, and not the financials cause, says he, they’re secret. So I said “why” and he said, in a performative demonstration of his pedantry, his incompetence, “because we don’t have to, that’s why.” Hmmm. Gotta love the intense commitment to public service evinced by this pocky little sucker on the public tit, eh?
Anyway, he then stumbled off to his lair where, I am guessing, he was set straight by Emmy-award-winning zeck dreck John Walker,3 because when he came back with the goodies they did, lo and behold and so on, include the top secret financials. You can read that toppest secretest board packet, complete with the ultra-toppest ultra-secretest financials that spotty little minion Damian Gatto did not want you to see by clicking right here!
Now, that’s all interesting, I’m sure, but by now it’s not news that these rampaging BIDdies don’t have the first clue how the Brown Act works.4 This little incident, though, was far, far from being the weirdest, lunatic-est, most-signifying-of-a-delusional-level-of-cluelessness-est, incident at this meeting. Those honoraria go to the bizarre little hissy pitched by board member Matthew Dunn who, it seems, doesn’t like to have his picture taken5 even though the right to record meetings is explicitly guaranteed by the Brown Act.6 Turn the page for details, links, and, of course, a transcription!
Continue reading Studio City BID Board Meeting Spectacular! — Legally Captured On Video For Your Amusement And Edification! — Board Member And Angry Clown Matthew Dunn Flips Out At Being Filmed! — Throws Tantrum! — Storms Out! — Like A Whiny Damn Baby! — This Is The Kind Of Person The City Of Los Angeles Entrusts Its Public Funds To! — Pedantically Incompetent Flunky Damian Gatto Almost Violates The Brown Act! — Saved At Last Moment By Emmy-Winning Zeck Dreck John Walker! — A Fun Time For All! — Or At Least For Me!