October 1, 2014 through November 12, 2014 Emails between A/I and HPOA

How email works...in Italian
How email works…in Italian!
While my literarily profligate colleagues lounge around MK.org secret headquarters drinking cheap wine and writing reams of nonsense about the antic shenanigans of the HPOA I, at least, am working hard to provide actual documentary evidence to you, dear reader. I am pleased to announce the availability of the first fruits of a recent Public Records request to HPOA, faithfully fulfilled by the ever-helpful Kerry Morrison. This set of documents consists of all disclosable emails between HPOA and A/I for the dates October 1, 2014 through November 12, 2014.

They are available through the menu structure in the header, or here, or from our static file storage either as a 7.7 MB zip archive or as individual PDFs. There is more to come.


Image by Massimo Barbieri, released under the CC BY-SA 3.0 and available via Wikimedia.

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Zillionaire HMD BID Board Member Varet Funded Hate-Spewing Muses of Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik

Norwegian racist Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik: Three degrees of separation from the Hollywood Media District BID
Norwegian racist Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik: Three degrees of separation from the Hollywood Media District BID
As we previously discussed, the Hollywood Media District BID recently expanded the size of its board of directors in order to include Joseph Varet, who told the assembled worthies that he wanted to be on the board “to contribute my own non-profit/for-profit board experience to just contribute towards further…uh…developing the district in a positive and sustainable way.” We don’t know about you, but, to paraphrase Hanns Johst, “Wenn ich überzeugt und nachhaltige höre … entsichere ich meinen Browning!”1

Joseph didn’t go into details about his “own non-profit/for-profit board experience” but, as you may have guessed, have we got some details for you!
Continue reading Zillionaire HMD BID Board Member Varet Funded Hate-Spewing Muses of Spree Killer Anders Behring Breivik

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New Glossary Page

Sometimes a little shift in perspective can reveal unsuspected patterns in the world
Sometimes a small shift in perspective can reveal unsuspected patterns in the world
By request I’ve added a new page to the header which explains the various players in the game we’re covering along with some common acronyms for them. It’s hard to sort these things out, God knows, but I hope this will help. Please email or leave a comment if you’d like me to define more terms.


Image via Wikimedia Foundation and released under CC BY-SA 3.0.

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There’s a 98.72% Chance that at Least Two People on the HPOA/CHC Boards of Directors are Really, Really Hypocritical

About a week's supply of Bourbon whiskey
About a week’s supply of Bourbon whiskey. The post is about vodka, but we found this picture more attractive.
According to scientists the top 20% of U.S. drinkers drink an average of 6.3 drinks per day.1 At 0.6 ounces of pure alcohol per drink2 that works out to 3.78 ounces all together. At 30 ml per ounce that comes to 113.4 ml of pure alcohol. Steve Seyler’s bête noire is something called Taaka vodka which is, we assume, 80 proof, or 40% alcohol. Thus 113.4 ml is equivalent to \frac{113.4}{0.4}=283.5 ml of actual vodka.

The small bottles that everyone in the BID is so het up about are 200 ml, so we’re talking about \frac{283.5}{200}=1.42 bottles of Taaka. What’s the chance that someone on the Board of directors drinks at this rate and still has the temerity to vote in favor of policies that target homeless people for arrest for doing the same thing that they do every freaking day? It’s pretty high, friends. Details below the fold.
Continue reading There’s a 98.72% Chance that at Least Two People on the HPOA/CHC Boards of Directors are Really, Really Hypocritical

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Kerry Morrison Frets About the BID’s Public Drinking Problem. We Have the Solution!

Conde Nast TagID: cncartoons029960.jpg/Photo via Conde Nast As of October 2014 the Hollywood Entertainment District BID and the Sunset-Vine BID had made over 600 arrests for drinking in public. Annualized this is over 700 arrests for 2014. By that point they’d made 945 arrests, which we’ll annualize to 1000 for ease of calculation. Thus around 70% of the arrests that BID security makes are for the simple act of drinking alcohol in public. In 2013 the Entertainment district seems to have spent about $1,600,000 on security.1

Thus we can estimate that the BIDs pay about $1,600 per arrest (about $1,120,000 per year) to arrest people for drinking in public. This is around a third of their annual budget and, of course, where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. The BID is really in a tizzy over this. In this issue of their newsletter you can read as Kerry Morrison frets and frets about what to do:
Continue reading Kerry Morrison Frets About the BID’s Public Drinking Problem. We Have the Solution!

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Steve Seyler, Hitherto Unknown Poet Laureate of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Steve Seyler composing poetry on his employer's time.
Steve Seyler composing poetry on his employer’s time.
Aristotle once said that “poetry needs either a sympathetic nature or a madman.”1 We’ll leave it up to you, our beloved reader, to decide, after you read the following little gem (the line breaks of which we’ve inserted for your convenience), which branch of that dichotomy is most applicable to the case of Steve Seyler, poet laureate of the BID patrol:
Continue reading Steve Seyler, Hitherto Unknown Poet Laureate of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

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Unredacted Seyler Reports Now Available

After a number of requests and a few lengthy meetings of the MichaelKohlhaas.org ethics committee we have decided to make unredacted copies of Steve Seyler’s reports to the HPOA/CHC Joint Security Committee available to our readers. They are currently available via the menu in the header (direct link here). As we’ve mentioned on a number of occasions, these reports are not pretty. We feel, however, that exposing their ugliness to the world is more important than protecting the already-violated privacy of their subjects.

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Positions on Cheap/Affordable Alcohol Reveal Hollywood Property Owners Alliance to be Hypocritical, Insane, or (Most LIkely) Both

The Hollywood Property Owners Alliance arguing with itself about alcohol.  The moral?  The rich are connoisseurs of fine spirits who appreciate a bargain.  The poor are going to jail.
The Hollywood Property Owners Alliance arguing with itself about alcohol. The moral? The rich are connoisseurs of fine spirits who appreciate a bargain. The poor are going to jail.
Look! The Hollywood Property Owners Alliance loves “affordable” “booze”!! For instance, there’s a new bar in Hollywood:

Whiskey Blu, located at 1714 N. Las Palmas, advertises $2 beer, including Pabst, Budweiser, and Coors as well as $5 shots of Makers Mark, Bullit, Crown, Jim Beam and more. … Whiskey Blu has stepped up to serve those who enjoy a nice, affordable drink.

And look again! Another bar closed down but now it’s back:

For several years, Dillon’s Irish Pub & Grill was a hub for sports fans, tourists and nightlife at the famed intersection of Hollywood and Vine. Known for its $3 beers…

And look again again!

For those who love a little booze and music, Hollywood & Highland’s summer series, Wine & Jazz, does not disappoint!

Ah, but Kerry Morrison doesn’t love it so much.
Continue reading Positions on Cheap/Affordable Alcohol Reveal Hollywood Property Owners Alliance to be Hypocritical, Insane, or (Most LIkely) Both

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Anatomy of a Hustle

Consuelo Marshall: People of Los Angeles, this woman is NOT your friend.
Nine justices of the United States Supreme Court to Consuelo Marshall and the City of Los Angeles: Dear Consuelo and LA, are you fucking serious?!
I would like to recommend the book Anatomy of a Hustle to anyone who’s interested in practical aspects of the governance of the city of Los Angeles. It’s a memoir by Clinton Galloway of his attempt, along with his brother Carl, to get a franchise to bring cable television to South Los Angeles in the 1970s and beyond. They were thwarted at every turn by an astonishingly corrupt city government and an astonishingly corrupt federal judge, spawned in the bowels of City Hall itself; Consuelo Marshall. Things haven’t changed much over there.

Marshall’s blatantly biased decision in favor of her cronies at City Hall was reversed unanimously by the 9th circuit and again unanimously by the U.S. Supreme Court, and yet she continued to violate their orders and judicial ethics at every possible point for almost a decade after the big courts remanded the case back to her with a note attached saying roughly: “Dear Consuelo and city of Los Angeles, are you fucking serious?!”
Continue reading Anatomy of a Hustle

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John Irigoyen to Sad Homeless Man: Don’t Worry, I Care About You. Now Have Some Coffee and GTFO.

Dear sad homeless man: Have some coffee and get the fuck out of my BID.
Dear sad homeless man: I care about you. Now have some coffee and get the fuck out of my BID.
Listen here as John Irigoyen relates a story of how he buys coffee for the homeless and makes them feel loved:

Another homeless person by the name of Tyson…big guy [unintelligible] was on the sidewalk. I guess he…eh…he had this attitude that nobody liked him, nobody cared for him [unintelligible] and…um…after I calmed him down I offered him coffee he took it and he was [unintelligible] having a hard time but…[unintelligible]…I saw him three days ago and he said again thank you and he thought nobody cared about him. So he was talking about he wanted…[unintelligible]…so it’s just another example of we’re actually making contact with everybody out there I mean buying him a cup of coffee calm him down a little…

Continue reading John Irigoyen to Sad Homeless Man: Don’t Worry, I Care About You. Now Have Some Coffee and GTFO.

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Business Improvement Districts in Los Angeles — Satan, Your Kingdom Must Come Down!